I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
