Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
