I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
