Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
