dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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