Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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