I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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