im about as happy as oj after his trial
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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