Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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