I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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