Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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