So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
