Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
