She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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