# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
