Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
