I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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