If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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