ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
