So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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