at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize