Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
