You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize