Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
