I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
