If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
