the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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