3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
false alarm. still invincible.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am naked and annoyed.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
