you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
we should paint friendship bongs
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