I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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