Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
