weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
