Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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