youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
this is an emotional support booty call
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
