yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
