1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
