she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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