It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
