i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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