how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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