I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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