Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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