just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
