Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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