are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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