69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
