so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
