My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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