(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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