i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Everclear isn't food dammit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
