I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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