Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
