I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
