Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
