Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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