Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
