I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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