so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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