To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
