why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
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