Umm I'm too high to move.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
