so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
