Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're too hungover to prance.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
