I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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