normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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