we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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