Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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