he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
