when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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